And boy was that a stupid choice!!
We drove back to my hometown to stay with my BFF for the week. That's the good news. The bad news is that my hometown has all of my favorite restaurants and food stores. Also, my BFF is my favorite binge-buddy.
So, with nothing but unconditional love and understanding looks coming from BFF, I ate my way through the entire week at her house, and into half a week once we returned back home.
The scale showed an almost 20 lb gain this morning. Yes. It is possible. I ate that much. Ugh.
So I am now trying to claw my way out of this pit. Again. And sugar detoxing sucks. Really, really sucks.
Today was Day One. Again. Lord, can this be my last Day One? Can I please not relapse anymore???
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Fuel for Running
I feel like I am running a science experiment. The lab is my kitchen, and I am the subject of the study. It's scary.
As I wish to make it through a run, or the day for that matter, without flopping on my face out of sheer exhaustion, I keep tinkering with my food choices to see what works best.
As sensitive as I am to spikes in blood sugar, I have to watch my sugar/carb intake carefully. But I think I have a winner!!
Remember Ants on a Log? It was a favorite childhood snack which I have pulled out, dusted off, and found to be ridiculously appealing lately! The few raisins don't seem to yank my blood sugar around, and their sweetness added to the crunch of the celery and creaminess of the natural peanut butter is quite the combination.
Will I eat this right before a run? No. Have you thrown up peanut butter lately? I did about twenty years ago, and it was traumatic enough to warn me away from ever eating it again before a tough workout.
Do you have a favorite pre- or post-workout snack? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?
As I wish to make it through a run, or the day for that matter, without flopping on my face out of sheer exhaustion, I keep tinkering with my food choices to see what works best.
As sensitive as I am to spikes in blood sugar, I have to watch my sugar/carb intake carefully. But I think I have a winner!!
Remember Ants on a Log? It was a favorite childhood snack which I have pulled out, dusted off, and found to be ridiculously appealing lately! The few raisins don't seem to yank my blood sugar around, and their sweetness added to the crunch of the celery and creaminess of the natural peanut butter is quite the combination.
Will I eat this right before a run? No. Have you thrown up peanut butter lately? I did about twenty years ago, and it was traumatic enough to warn me away from ever eating it again before a tough workout.
Do you have a favorite pre- or post-workout snack? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?
Friday, September 16, 2011
So Conflicted
I can't make up my mind, and that is not typical for me. But it's getting down to the wire now, and I still haven't decided whether or not I'll be running the Half Marathon I signed up for this November.
I spent the $100, it sounds like a fun race, and it's finally cooling off here in the South enough for me to get outside for long training runs. So, you'd think it would be a no-brainer. But it's not. I don't know if my hip is going to cooperate. The longest run I've done lately is six miles, and I'm handling that okay, but will my IT Band issues flare up as they did last Fall? Can I handle running a slow Half because I'm not willing to train enough to run it faster? (note my issue with pride) Do I want to drag my family four hours from home and pay for gas and hotel just for this race?
Do I want to run 13.1 miles???
I don't enjoy running. I like to jog. But running makes me tired ;) It wears me out. I'd rather take a Step class at the gym, or play tennis with my hubby. Yet, there's something that draws me to this race. I don't fathom I'd do another Half. Ever. But this one time? I kinda wanna.
So today's six mile run was the start of my tentative schedule of long training runs. Only God knows how those will go.
I spent the $100, it sounds like a fun race, and it's finally cooling off here in the South enough for me to get outside for long training runs. So, you'd think it would be a no-brainer. But it's not. I don't know if my hip is going to cooperate. The longest run I've done lately is six miles, and I'm handling that okay, but will my IT Band issues flare up as they did last Fall? Can I handle running a slow Half because I'm not willing to train enough to run it faster? (note my issue with pride) Do I want to drag my family four hours from home and pay for gas and hotel just for this race?
Do I want to run 13.1 miles???
I don't enjoy running. I like to jog. But running makes me tired ;) It wears me out. I'd rather take a Step class at the gym, or play tennis with my hubby. Yet, there's something that draws me to this race. I don't fathom I'd do another Half. Ever. But this one time? I kinda wanna.
So today's six mile run was the start of my tentative schedule of long training runs. Only God knows how those will go.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sibling Rivalry
My sister is about four years older than I am, and she's turned out to be a wonderful person. She was a pain in the neck as we were growing up, but then again, so was I, so I suppose we deserved eachother.
She was the knees and elbows sister, while I was the muscular one. My torso is long, her arms and legs are long. But the fact remains, unlike me, she has never really been overweight. She has beefed up by ten or fifteen pounds here and there over the years, but she's never hit the "obese" category on the charts as I have.
So the conversation the two of us had the other day irked me a little. And it's the shallow part of me that was annoyed. Isn't that usually the case? Anyway, her big news was that she is working with a neighbor of hers who is a personal trainer. I've met this neighbor, and when I met her she was quite thin. My sister told me she was impressed by her neighbor's weight loss (what more could she have lost other than skin and bone?) and by her nutrition philosophy.
What's that philosophy? Pretty much exactly what mine is, and what I recommended to my sister over two months ago when she told me she was frustrated with her weight. Did she listen? Nope. Perhaps a person must be a size zero to carry any credibility in my sister's eyes. I suppose it makes sense.
Big sis' went on to tell me that she has been dropping weight like crazy, (I believe that's a direct quote)and that her goal is to get down to 18% fat. For those of you who trouble yourselves with body fat % charts, that's pretty low for a woman. A woman who is about to turn 40...
I know my irritation stems from jealousy. I've been jealous of my sister's lack of true struggle with eating for as long as I can remember. I'm not jealous of her body. I'm not jealous of her marriage. I prefer my life, actually. So I must realize, that having her (relative lack of) food struggle comes along with every other part of her life. Right?
So when she calls to tell me that she's hit her goal weight, and that she did it without struggling with the regular desire to binge, I hope to have grown enough to be genuinely happy for her.
She was the knees and elbows sister, while I was the muscular one. My torso is long, her arms and legs are long. But the fact remains, unlike me, she has never really been overweight. She has beefed up by ten or fifteen pounds here and there over the years, but she's never hit the "obese" category on the charts as I have.
So the conversation the two of us had the other day irked me a little. And it's the shallow part of me that was annoyed. Isn't that usually the case? Anyway, her big news was that she is working with a neighbor of hers who is a personal trainer. I've met this neighbor, and when I met her she was quite thin. My sister told me she was impressed by her neighbor's weight loss (what more could she have lost other than skin and bone?) and by her nutrition philosophy.
What's that philosophy? Pretty much exactly what mine is, and what I recommended to my sister over two months ago when she told me she was frustrated with her weight. Did she listen? Nope. Perhaps a person must be a size zero to carry any credibility in my sister's eyes. I suppose it makes sense.
Big sis' went on to tell me that she has been dropping weight like crazy, (I believe that's a direct quote)and that her goal is to get down to 18% fat. For those of you who trouble yourselves with body fat % charts, that's pretty low for a woman. A woman who is about to turn 40...
I know my irritation stems from jealousy. I've been jealous of my sister's lack of true struggle with eating for as long as I can remember. I'm not jealous of her body. I'm not jealous of her marriage. I prefer my life, actually. So I must realize, that having her (relative lack of) food struggle comes along with every other part of her life. Right?
So when she calls to tell me that she's hit her goal weight, and that she did it without struggling with the regular desire to binge, I hope to have grown enough to be genuinely happy for her.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
How Did I Get Here?
I'm not asking in the theological sense. This is a more shallow question than that. For everyone's benefit, I'll make it short and sweet.
I've been dieting on and off since the age of eleven. Ironically, it wasn't until college that I was ever heavy enough to medically qualify as overweight. Before then, I dieted to try to keep up (or down?) with the skinny girls at school. That was all that mattered. Until I grew up (it takes some of us longer than others!) I really didn't care about how healthy I was. I just sought skinny. Skinny was my god.
Now, skinny is still nice and all, but healthy is far more important to me. Fortunately, Skinny and Healthy make a great couple. So I seek both. And as my blog title indicates, one way I've decided to do this is to stay away from sugar. For. The. Rest. Of. My. Life.
Sugar is truly a drug for me. I have eaten it to the point of making myself sick on numerous occasions. I know it's horrible for my body(yet I'd eat it anyway). I experience withdrawal symptoms when I quit eating it. I reach for it when I'm frustrated, angry, elated, bored, overwhelmed, or depressed. Essentially, all of the same criteria that indicate that a person has an addiction to alcohol, applies to me with sugar. So, since it does me no good at all, why not just quit eating it all together?
I have slipped up in the past. I hope not to, but wouldn't be surprised if I did again in the future. At the end of the day, all I can do is try.
Here's hoping my efforts pay off, and I get, and stay off the blood sugar roller coaster and weight gain and loss Yo-Yo that has marked my life the last twenty years. Care to join me?
I've been dieting on and off since the age of eleven. Ironically, it wasn't until college that I was ever heavy enough to medically qualify as overweight. Before then, I dieted to try to keep up (or down?) with the skinny girls at school. That was all that mattered. Until I grew up (it takes some of us longer than others!) I really didn't care about how healthy I was. I just sought skinny. Skinny was my god.
Now, skinny is still nice and all, but healthy is far more important to me. Fortunately, Skinny and Healthy make a great couple. So I seek both. And as my blog title indicates, one way I've decided to do this is to stay away from sugar. For. The. Rest. Of. My. Life.
Sugar is truly a drug for me. I have eaten it to the point of making myself sick on numerous occasions. I know it's horrible for my body(yet I'd eat it anyway). I experience withdrawal symptoms when I quit eating it. I reach for it when I'm frustrated, angry, elated, bored, overwhelmed, or depressed. Essentially, all of the same criteria that indicate that a person has an addiction to alcohol, applies to me with sugar. So, since it does me no good at all, why not just quit eating it all together?
I have slipped up in the past. I hope not to, but wouldn't be surprised if I did again in the future. At the end of the day, all I can do is try.
Here's hoping my efforts pay off, and I get, and stay off the blood sugar roller coaster and weight gain and loss Yo-Yo that has marked my life the last twenty years. Care to join me?
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